The Douchebag Files: 1
Posted in Life on 08/29/2008 12:12 am by HeatherSo, I’ve noticed that since I’m out and about quite often, I find myself taking pictures of things that beg to be noticed. Usually, it’s some variation on douchebaggery, either subtle or blatant. Suddenly, I have a collection of photos that are an excellent example of why abortion should be legal forever. So, I present you with the Douchebag Files. Installment number one. Enjoy.
This spring, I was in Santa Fe, New Mexico for a few months. BRUIN and I ran out of good places to eat after the first few weeks and one afternoon we decided to go exploring for a lunch spot in the downtown area. Sometime before our really shitty meal at the Atomic Café, we passed this Douchemobile parked curbside.
Ok, so at first glance, this is clearly a mode of transportation chosen for its ability to draw attention, not for its aesthetics or aerodynamics. What a stupid waste of rubber and metal. I’ve shit prettier things than this. I also love the little pouch behind the front seat. What the hell is it for? Bible? Antivirals? Soap? Whatever. I snapped a quick photo figuring that I could mock this piece of shit on my blog. As we drove past it however, I noticed a far more interesting feature…
Does it get any better than this? I have to wonder what this assclown was thinking when he put this on his three wheeled vagina magnet. I mean, sure, what girl doesn’t like it when a ponytailed, turquoise jewelry wearing latter day hippie visits her sushi bar? But does he really think that this is gonna get him laid? Does he think it makes him more manly? Does he think it stifles the whispers of homoerotic tailpipes that his bike inspires? I wish I could have questioned him, but sadly, he was walking to his bike-of-shame as we drove away and I never got to ask him why he eats cats in the first place.
