Heather Toshiko

Kill me, please? I have never wanted to leave a place so badly in my life. I’ve been here in New Mexico (way better than the original) for 2 months and I am either suicidal or homicidal…I’m not quite sure.

First, the people here drive the speed limit. Assholes! There are many two lane highways, and these idiots with nowhere to go just take their sweet ass time doing 54 in a 55. I haven’t seen one speeder since I’ve been here. Oh, and apparently there’s no age limit for driver’s licenses either. I’m constantly stuck behind some fatass old croaker in a big Buick who is straddling the line and driving below the limit. I won’t say how many times I’ve been pulled over, but suffice it to say that to continue counting I will need another hand. I will say that the cops here (state, local, county) are EVERYWHERE and they are very nice if not a bit zealous. Seriously, if we had as many cops in LA, our crime rate would plummet. They are everywhere.

Today I went to the Post Office to mail Ian his Wii. There were about 10 folks waiting and so I took a number. Moments later two fatass, bald, mandal wearing douchbags walked in. They were talking very loudly and having a pious conversation about Christianity and televangelists. They actually stood in the middle of the post office and speculated on what God thinks of various people. I assume that they are such pious and inspired individuals that God gives them the low down on what he’s working on during a given week. I had placed my box on a high counter, and at some point I started banging my head on it. This brought chuckles from the other customers and a stern look of disapproval from the two Wise Men. I muttered “kill me” and then my number was called. Thank you, Jesus.

Later in the day, after my happy hour Sonic iced tea, I went into a public restroom. As I was heading for the door, a woman pushed past me and rushed inside. By the time I entered, she was in a stall. The restroom was empty except for me and her. Oh, and whoever she was talking to in the stall. Here’s what I heard:

“Ahhhhhh. Ooooooh. I shouldn’t have held it so long. Ohhhhh. God I have to go. Ahhhhh. Oh it’s so cold in here. Ohhhhh. Ahhhhh.” Flush.

By the time she was done, I was at the sink washing my hands. She exited the stall, looked at me, said “its cold in here” then left. She left WITHOUT WASHING HER HANDS!!!!!! Also, I should note that she wasn’t on the phone, she was moaning and groaning and talking to herself in the stall. Fucking wacko bitch.

I hate this place. I can honestly say that I will never, ever come to New Mexico again in my life. You can’t make me!